Let’s be honest: Finding a roommate can be a giant headache. In a best-case scenario, you’ll end up living with someone who becomes your BFF; worst case, you’ll end up signing a lease with an epic weirdo.
For anyone with a horrible roommate story, the warning signs typically started to show after you moved in—not from first glance at the roommate wanted ad. But in the case of the nutty ads below, the renters showed their true colors from the get-go.
Take a look at some of the most outlandish roommate wanted ads we’ve ever seen posted. If reading this doesn’t make you happy that you live alone (or at least with a levelheaded roommate), we don’t know what will.
‘Steeler fans only’
Know how many Super Bowls the Steelers have won? You’d better if you want to live here.
Baltimore Ravens fans need not apply. This ad, posted in 2016 by avid Pittsburgh Steelers fans named “John” and “Scott” in Sharpsburg, PA, spelled out exactly the type of roommate they’re looking for.
At the time the ad was posted, it caught the attention of Rolling Stone reporter Scott Rafferty. The flyer is “awesome, even if it probably breaks some kind of anti-discrimination law,” Rafferty noted.
Living in the loo
Exactly where will you and your air mattress go when your roomie is using the can?
A $400 living situation in New York City’s East Village sounds like the ultimate sublet, but scan the details and you’ll realize it may be the lowest form of slumlord-ing known to man.
This listing, which appeared on Craigslist in November 2008, indicates that the renter of the bathroom—and the renter’s guests—are confined to the room unless the “female” in her “mid 60s” needs to use the loo. For that reason alone, we’d have to imagine that she remained the lone occupant.
Who doesn’t want to be bullied by a boar in their own home?
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to talking about pets, no matter if it’s a dog, cat, or potbellied pig. This ad, posted on Craigslist in January 2013, says the place is occupied by not one but two porkers.
Before you succumb to their cuteness, you might want to remember they’re “herd animals.” And as you read on, you’ll learn Franklin, the elder pig, “will bully you.” It also seems fair to say that you will not be allowed to consume bacon in this crib. Don’t expect to get a spot on that couch either!
Must love nature
The tent where you can rough it with two other roommates for $200 a month.
San Francisco has been the most expensive city to rent in for a while now, so residents have had to get creative with their living situations. Case in point: this ad for a roommate to rent one-third of a tent for $50 a week, which appeared on Craigslist in September 2015.
The original posters say the “tent moves locations throughout the week to keep fresh,” and while that change of scenery may be nice, the idea of living in 15 square feet of space sounds like … a challenge.
Points for creativity
If she’s this creative, imagine what your holiday decor will look like.
This is one way to stand out in the rental market! If you’re charmed by the creativity of this post and not turned off by the over-the-top self-promotion, Lauren might be the roommate for you. And with all those testimonials, who wouldn’t want to live with Lauren, right? Seriously, she had us at mac and cheese.
We’re sure she had tons of inquiries and not just about that “Ironic Naked Man” in the lower right-hand corner. This ad generated so much buzz that it appeared in HuffPost and Visual News in October 2013. Both publications praised the graphic designer for her creativity and cleverness.
‘The hive is located in the living room’
You’re not allergic to bees, right?
Forgive us for being daft, but isn’t beekeeping typically an outdoor activity? Is it really wise to maintain a “rather large hive of Africanized honey bees” in the living room?
According to this ad, posted to Craigslist in June 2003 for a room in an East Village apartment, “occasionally something sets [the bees] off and hive [sic] becomes enraged and tends to swarm.” Sounds awesome!
But even if sharing your life with a swarm of bees doesn’t sound so bad, don’t even think about bringing your “large collection of predatory insects” along.
‘I just want your rent money’
CIA-level background check is included with rent.
This ad is a joke, right? Aside from copping to his or her impossibly high standards, the original poster basically admits that your security deposit (“three times the amount anyone could describe as reasonable”) won’t be returned, whether you like it or not.
This ad, placed on Craigslist in January 2009, is either proof that the internet is a very dark place or that people will do anything to try to go viral.
It’s hard to believe the apartment, with its “magic sheet,” had been posted for six weeks with no bites.