Toilets are funny things. Toilet humor exists because, let’s face it, bodily functions are embarrassing and therefore hilarious. And yes, while terrifying things can happen on a toilet after a Taco Bell run, the toilet is generally not a place where true terror lurks.
But a new Twitter account, “Toilets With Threatening Auras,” begs to differ.
Launched this summer as a quirky riff on toilets, the account now boasts hundreds of thousands of followers, all gathering to share and view pics of porcelain thrones that send chills up our spines.
Just how many terrifying toilets are out there? And, god forbid, might your own toilet be scary, too? In case you want to see just how spooky a commode can be, check out a few choice examples below, which also contain some interesting lessons on how to not decorate your loo.
No netherworld lighting
We’ve heard of overheard lighting but not inner bowl lighting.
Things are supposed to go into a toilet and then get flushed away, never to be seen again. Nothing is supposed to come out of the toilet bowl. Especially not Satan’s night light. So stay far away from this light, Carol Anne!
No random sharp objects
Sit with caution.
Razors have a place in a bathroom, sure. They belong inside a holder in the shower or a medicine cabinet. They are not supposed to be sealed into a toilet seat. And barbed wire really shouldn’t be in your bathroom at all, much less embedded in your toilet.
Toilets also shouldn’t have teeth
File this under “highly disturbing.”
We can only hope this is a digitally altered image meant to scare the bejesus out of us—because who wants to confront a primal scream in the john? But if it’s not, remember to stick to regular old pipes for your plumbing needs.
No heads of state in the head
This ain’t exactly the Oval Office.
Bathrooms are places where things that aren’t always pretty happen on the regular. As such, you don’t need a past president eyeing your every move.
No vortexes to other dimensions
Limit swirling to flushing water in the toilet bowl.
While it’s unclear whether this is digital manipulation at work or a truly trippy floor treatment, it’s clear this is bad bathroom juju. Most people like to relax and maybe flip through a magazine in the bathroom. They do not want to contemplate the meaningless of life brought on by staring into a wormhole to the underworld.
No cute overloads
Um, this is not a litter box.
At first glance, this may look like an innocent Hello Kitty obsession on display in a pink powder room. Think again! Anyone who has this many disembodied cat heads in such a small space is clearly not of sound mind. (And haven’t you ever noticed Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? That’s so she can’t scream!)
Send out the clowns
Even Bozo the Clown would get weirded out in here.
Evil clowns take center stage as the creepy monsters in movies such as “It” for good reason. And they usually don’t take lead roles as bathroom decor for similar reasons: Do you really want to see gruesome, giant red mouths twisted in unnatural smiles and blank eyes staring as you relieve yourself? Didn’t think so.
There is such a thing as too much toilet paper
Someone went shopping at Costco.
One of life’s great annoyances is running out of toilet paper while still sitting on the bowl. But there is such a thing as too much bath tissue—and this is not what “TP-ing” a house means.
No fake peeping, please
Spying has no place in the privy.
Hanging a window and then putting pictures in the panes of people seemingly watching you use the toilet? We know that’s some weird attempt at humor, but we aren’t laughing. ‘Nuf said.
No gallows humor
Use this if you dare.
Most people don’t have urinals at home. But this is so spooky that, public or not, we had to showcase it anyway. Because a “half-bath” is not supposed to mean that when you go inside you run the risk of getting something chopped in half.
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Source: Housing Trends Feed